January Tapas: The New Year, Goal-Setting, and Meditation
Pat Conroy once wrote, “The human soul can always use a new tradition. Sometimes we require them.”
And so it was when it came to tapas. When I lived in Mallorca, my two housemates and I got in the habit of going out each week for tapas, which are common throughout Spain and are small bites that usually accompany a small beer or wine. It can be anything from bread and assorted meats, to olives, to egg and potato dishes. It’s a bit of everything, really—a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
It was usually just the three of us, and I remember catching up and laughing about things that had happened that week. We’d share stories, worries, and things that were on our minds. Sometimes it would be in Spanish, sometimes in English, and sometimes a haphazard combination of both. Our weekly tapas outing was as much about the food as it was the conversation. It was a time for us to get together and share a little sampling of our lives with each other.
In the same spirit, I’d like to try out a new blog series that I’ll be calling Monthly Tapas. It’ll be a place where I’ll share a little bit of what’s going on in my life in small bite-sized pieces. A little variety platter, a hodgepodge of thoughts. I’ll be sharing nuggets of what I’ve been thinking about, reading, or enjoying lately. So without further ado, here is my inaugural January Tapas. Salud!
What I’ve been reading…
I can’t stop thinking about Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan. The book begins as a love story between two young adults, Lily and Asher. But when Asher finds Lily dead at the bottom of the stairs of her house, and Asher becomes the primary suspect, a secret is revealed that changes everything. This is a powerful book that explores the intricacies of love, identity, and to what extent we escape (or don’t escape) our past. Highly recommend checking it out!
What I've been listening to…
I’ve been tuning into Jay Shetty's On Purpose podcast just about every morning as I get ready for the day, and I can’t get enough. You may recognize the name from his book, Think Like a Monk. In his early 20s, Shetty left the corporate world to become a monk. He moved into an ashram, shaved his head, slept on the floor, woke up at 4 a.m., and meditated for 4-8 hours every day. When he left three years later, he began sharing what he learned with the world, giving practical tips on everything from developing better habits, to building more meaningful relationships, to creating a more intentional and healthier life. In the spirit of the new year, here are two great episodes:
9 Powerful Reflection Questions for 2021 - Although it’s a year old, it’s still very much applicable to any end-of-year reflection practice.
Payal Kadakia Pujji: On the Self Discipline Needed to Become an Entrepreneur - Feel free to listen to the whole episode, but the best nugget in my opinion starts at 12:20 when Payal talks about her goal-setting process for the year. We always hear about writing down our goals for the year, but I love how she takes a different approach. She suggests writing down 3-5 words that describe how you want to feel in the new year. Then work backwards from there to figure out what steps you’re going to take to get there.
What I've been watching…
Based on a true story, the movie The Swimmers tells the incredible story of two sisters who escape the war in Syria and become refugees in Germany. The story follows their harrowing journey as one of the sisters follows her dream of going to the 2016 Rio Olympics. It’s a powerful and inspiring story of love, triumph, and sisterhood—definitely worth watching.
What's been a game changer…
Meditation. Recently, I’ve been spending some time every morning reflecting on what I most need that day and finding a guided meditation through the Insight Timer app that focuses on that area. Whether I’m in need of a bit of self-compassion, grounding, or some simple breathwork, Insight Timer has something for just about every occasion. Here are two other great meditations I’ve been listening to lately:
Melli O’Brien has a great meditation on self-compassion (the audio is about halfway down the page).
Sarah Blondin has a beautiful meditation on YouTube on learning to surrender.
What I’ve been thinking about…
I can’t remember where I heard it, but I heard someone say recently, “Relationships are amplifiers.” Another more common way of saying this is, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” What this leaves out is: “...the five people who we choose to spend the most time with.”
Too often we surround ourselves with people who don’t serve us, whether it’s mentally, emotionally, or physically. All this comes down to is what we will accept or allow into our lives. Instead, we could invite the people who build us up and amplify the behaviors and thought patterns we want more of in our life. Personally, as I move into the new year, I want to focus on investing my time and energy into friendships that move me in the direction I want to go in. I want to be more intentional about surrounding myself with people whose energy and actions help me become a better version of myself, and vice versa.
Quote I’m loving…
“Failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success.” – Arianna Huffington